by Katie-Beth Craig

 

sometimes i remember what the rain used to sound like

when it pattered on windows

washed out my sorrows

you would sit there by me on the couch

we would say nothing

not awkward but at peace

our broken pieces whole when we were together

oh how i miss those days.

your arms around my waist

tranquility between our hearts  

i would tell you how glad i was you existed

thriving thoughts grew between our intertwined fingers

but i wish they grew in our hearts

you asked why i have trust issues

and i told you that all the people i’ve ever loved left me

fingers break easily and splints

can’t fix hours worth of secrets

rooted in a false trust

told just because we wanted validation

i wanted validation

but plants can’t feel

anything except for the direction of the sun

and i guess i am that rainy day

dark

so are you

but we always look for something the opposite of ourselves

don’t we?

you were never too busy i just wasn’t a priority

but you can’t force relationships because sometimes

the people we want so f******* bad aren’t the people we need

so why don’t you go relax on a miami beach

while i sit here

on this couch

alone

crumbs of sodium and carbs sinking into the cracks

me

sinking

me

sinking

telling myself sometimes it’s better to let go

then to kill yourself by holding on

the rain

that sound

that peace

that piece

missing

missing

gone.

remember what the rain used to sound like?

me neither.

i guess that’s just how time passes.

By Katie-Beth Craig

 

when did beauty become exclusive?

funny how our idea of perfection went from our mothers faces

to surgically altered mannequins

to think that the definition of a pretty person

isn’t even human in reality

you stand in the mirror and look at your stretch marks

like they are scars rather than assets

you put on foundation only to add blush and contour

adding color to the color you just took away

because it was in the wrong places.

but maybe your freckles aren’t what’s in the wrong place

look around

people’s sexuality is used as an insult

like your opinion of who I am attracted to is

something that should offend me

look around

the boy who says he is grounded in Jesus’ name

calls the nicest girl he doesn’t even know “god damn ugly”

I thought you weren’t supposed to use God’s name in vain

I thought all God’s creations were made to be beautiful

 

look around

our society is a contradiction

grounded in fake self-righteousness

that’s why your freckles

your stretch marks

your wrinkles

your blackheads

your beauty

is there

to remind you every time you look in that mirror

that the reflection you’re seeing is what

beauty is supposed to look like

and if you don’t see that then why don’t you buy a new mirror

stare at yourself a little longer

and ignore the people you think are staring at your perceived flaws

they’re only staring to try to fill their eyes with something

beautiful

because someone at some point has ripped it out of them

stop thinking your pictures need a certain amount of likes

a thumbs up and little red heart should not be validations of love

or acceptance

the only validation you need

is from yourself

you are a masterpiece

stop telling yourself you are anything less

vanity is not the same thing as self-worth

and you are worth more than any item you’ve ever bought

to make you feel “pretty”

beauty shouldn’t be as hard as you make it to be

so don’t make it as hard

and if pretty is all it’s cut out to be

then I don’t want to be pretty

because I want to be worth something more.